A free resource from newbrand.us — tools for people who actually work
// no AI subscription required to read this
For office anarchists

CLAUDE FOR HATERS

The Anti-AI User's Guide to Claude — for people who still think a spreadsheet is the right tool for a spreadsheet problem.

Read Online → Download PDF ↓
// what this guide believes
01
A calculator is not anti-technology. It's the right tool. Using a data center to add two numbers is the problem.
02
Your spreadsheet is not broken. It doesn't need AI. It needs you to learn three more formulas.
03
Mandatory AI rollouts are a red flag. Tools adopted by diktat instead of merit tend to be neither.
04
That said. There are tasks — real ones — where Claude saves hours. This guide tells you exactly which ones.
05
You stay in control. Always. No chatbot makes your decisions. No output ships without your eyes on it.
AI uses 3,000× more energy than a calculator for the same math 100ml of cooling water per average AI query 80% of common "AI tasks" have a faster low-tech solution Your spreadsheet can already do that Google is still faster for anything with a single correct answer AI uses 3,000× more energy than a calculator for the same math 100ml of cooling water per average AI query 80% of common "AI tasks" have a faster low-tech solution Your spreadsheet can already do that Google is still faster for anything with a single correct answer
// the math of overkill

The part nobody puts
in the press release.

AI isn't software running on your laptop. It's infrastructure — data centers, cooling systems, power grids. Every query has a real cost. That cost is sometimes worth it. Here's the scale of when it isn't.

3,000×
Energy overhead
More electricity than your phone's calculator app to run the same arithmetic. Locally. Instantly. For free.
100ml
Water per query
Data centers use water for cooling. An average AI interaction consumes roughly a large sip. Scale that to millions of daily queries.
80%
Could go low-tech
Of the tasks people actually use AI for, the majority have a faster, free, local tool that does the same job — often better.
// this guide is for you if

You've rolled your eyes at a mandatory AI training.

You don't have to be a technophobe. You just have to be someone who knows the difference between a tool and a cult. This guide was written for that person.

//
The spreadsheet loyalist
Still uses Excel. Doesn't apologize. Knows twenty formulas and uses them every day.
//
The late adopter
Not anti-tech. Just waiting to see if something is actually useful before changing how they work.
//
The mandate-resistant
Their company rolled out an AI tool. Nobody explained why. They're here to find out if any of it is real.
//
The pragmatist
Doesn't care either way. Wants to know what actually saves time and what's just noise.
//
The already-converted skeptic
Uses Claude sometimes. Wants to use it smarter, not more.
// table of contents

Eight sections. One usable framework.

8 parts · free
Part 0
The Manifesto
What we actually believe. Stated without hedging.
→
Part 1
The Math of Overkill
Energy, water, and time comparisons. Calculator vs. Claude, side by side.
→
Part 2
Your Phone Can Already Do That
The low-tech arsenal. Formulas, free tools, things that run locally and offline.
→
Part 3
The Escalation Ladder
A five-question framework for deciding whether a task actually justifies AI.
→
Part 4
Claude for the Skeptic
Ten things it's genuinely good at. With example prompts and honest failure modes.
→
Part 5
The Office Anti-Suite
Four real workflows mapped end-to-end. Escalation points marked in coral.
→
Part 6
AI Hygiene for Normal People
What you're actually sharing. Privacy myths corrected. Settings worth knowing.
→
Appendix
The Quick Reference Card
Everything on one page. The thing you screenshot and keep.
→
"The goal was never to make you an AI user. It was to make you a better judge of tools."
— Claude for Haters, Part 0: The Manifesto
// get the guide

Free. No tricks.
Two ways in.

Option A — No signup required
Read Online
Full interactive guide with visuals, comparisons, and the overkill infographic. Runs in your browser. Nothing to install or download.
  • Full eight-part guide with visuals
  • Interactive charts and comparisons
  • No email, no account, no catch
  • Works on phone or desktop
Start Reading →
Option B — One email, that's it
Download PDF
Clean, print-ready PDF. Read it offline, share with a colleague, or leave it somewhere passive-aggressive on the office printer.
  • Print-ready, clean layout
  • Yours to keep and share freely
  • One email — no spam, ever
  • Occasional updates from newbrand.us